10 Ways to get Better Feedback on your work

Feedback is a powerful force in our lives. It shapes our growth, influences our decisions, and can leave a lasting impact, whether positive or negative. Years ago, when I was in high, school, I attended a leadership camp for a week. At the end of the week, one of the facilitators would give you a final assessment of your leadership style and ways you could improve. At the end of the week, my facilitator sat me down to review their notes, took a long pause and said "Well Gemma... you're just intense aren't you". My heart sank, and the remark caught me off guard.

At first glance, it might not seem like a harsh critique, but for me, it felt like a weighty judgment. Being labelled as "intense" felt like I was being classified as someone who wasn't enjoyable to be around. It was as if I had been likened to a gruelling CrossFit workout – that's intense- something people would rather avoid. That's not how I wanted to be labelled, particularly as a teenager. I can't remember much else about the feedback he had. Being labelled as intense is all I remember.

At that moment, I didn't ask questions or seek clarification. I simply accepted it and internalized the feedback. "Well, I'm just intense," I thought. "I must be too serious and too deep in my thoughts." It became a personal narrative that I associated with myself, all because of that one comment.

Now, fast forward to today, and I find myself reflecting on that experience. If I were to receive similar feedback now, I would react differently. Instead of passively accepting it, I'd respond with questions, seeking to understand what the person truly meant by "intense." I'd want them to articulate their feedback more precisely, making it meaningful and intentional.

The maturity I've gained over the years has taught me to stand up for myself when receiving feedback. I've come to realize that if someone is going to provide feedback, it should be purposeful and backed by thoughtful consideration, not just a casual comment tossed around.

So, what's the moral of this story? Well, it turns out I'm still "intense" to some extent, but now I understand that it means I'm a deep thinker who approaches things with thorough consideration. Yes, I can come across as serious, but I've learned to balance it with humour and lightheartedness.

Reflecting on that moment during a recent podcast episode (link & preview at the end of this blog), I've distilled ten actionable pieces of advice that can assist anyone in navigating the complexities of feedback effectively. These insights are grounded in real-life situations with the aim for us to collectively give and get better feedback.

1. Consider the Recipient

Before providing feedback, take a moment to empathize with the person on the receiving end. Understand that they may have emotional reactions, and your feedback can impact their confidence and motivation. To act on this, craft your feedback in a manner that's both constructive and considerate of their feelings. Ask yourself how you would like to receive such feedback. For example, in my earlier personal story, the leader was giving feedback to a 16-year-old girl who was trying to develop her first leadership skills. That approach needed to be tailored and differ from how you would speak to a seasoned expert.

2. Be Specific

Avoid vague feedback like simply labelling someone as "intense." (Ok I'll stop making it about me soon but still - this rule applies). Vague feedback doesn't provide clear direction for improvement. The importance lies in giving the recipient a roadmap for growth. Offer specifics about your observations or experiences. This could even be for positive feedback such as "good" or "nice". That doesn't tell me why or where that opinion came from. How do I know what to keep doing "good" if I don't know what was "good".

For actionable advice, provide concrete examples or suggestions for them to enhance their behaviour or performance. Instead of saying, "You're intense," suggest, "I've noticed your high level of focus during meetings; consider engaging more in casual conversations to build rapport." Which is what I do now, and what I wish I could have told my younger self.

3. Seek Clarity

When confronted with unclear feedback, don't hesitate to seek clarification. The importance here is to ensure that feedback is actionable and meaningful. Engage in a productive conversation with the person providing the feedback. Request further elaboration or specific examples. This not only deepens your understanding but also demonstrates your commitment to growth. Ask, "I appreciate your feedback; could you share more about your observations?" or even if you wanted to keep it vague, just "What do you mean by that?" could open the door for further clarity.

4. Active Listening

When receiving feedback, practice active listening. Recognize that feedback, even if uncomfortable, can be valuable for personal or professional development. The importance is in absorbing the feedback without defensiveness and reflecting on its potential value. For actionable advice, respond with curiosity rather than defensiveness, saying, "Thank you for sharing your perspective; I'll reflect on this."

5. Trust Your Gut

While feedback can be valuable, it's essential to trust your instincts and judgment too. The importance lies in maintaining your self-confidence and identity while using feedback as a tool for self-improvement. Don't let feedback determine your self-worth. To act on this, embrace feedback as an opportunity for growth, but don't let it define who you are. Confidence in your abilities and self-awareness are crucial for effectively processing feedback. Take it as input into the process but ultimately you are responsible for how you respond.

6. Selective Acceptance

Not all feedback carries equal weight. The importance here is in distinguishing between feedback that aligns with your goals and values and feedback that may not be pertinent or helpful. To act on this, prioritize feedback that contributes to your growth while respectfully considering the rest. Some feedback honestly just ignore, but the ability to do this does come with practice and confidence.

7. Lead by Example

If you hold a leadership role, set the tone by providing feedback that is specific, actionable, and empathetic. Demonstrate to your team that you value their growth and are open to two-way communication. The importance is in fostering a culture of open feedback that benefits both individuals and the organization. Lead your feedback with how you wish for it to be given

8. Encourage Open Dialogue

The importance lies in creating an environment where feedback is not only welcomed but also encouraged. Urge your team members to seek and provide feedback to one another constructively. Cultivate a culture in which everyone strives for continuous improvement, understanding that feedback is a valuable tool for growth. The more comfortable we all get with giving useful feedback, the more frequently it can happen and the more value we can get from it.

9. Feedback as a Learning Opportunity

Rather than viewing feedback solely as an evaluation of yourself, consider it an opportunity to learn about the person offering the feedback. Each piece of feedback, whether positive or negative, can provide valuable insights. The importance is in using feedback to deepen your connections and insights. Take a step back and contemplate why they are providing this feedback. Use it as an opportunity to learn more about them and how to better communicate with them generally.

10. Iterate and Innovate

Embrace feedback as a catalyst for iteration and innovation. The importance lies in using feedback as a tool to push your boundaries and evolve. When receiving feedback, don't shy away from discomfort. Explore how you can use it to enhance your approach or innovate your methods. This proactive attitude can lead to breakthroughs and improved performance. Remember that growth often occurs outside your comfort zone.

These ten pieces of advice, grounded in personal experiences and extensive discussions, serve as a guide for effectively navigating the intricacies of feedback. By applying these principles, you can transform feedback from a source of anxiety into a powerful tool for personal and professional development. Embrace the process, and may every feedback encounter be an opportunity for positive change and progress.

If you want to hear more about managing feedback, Listen to the whole episode here: